Don’t Poke The Pregnant Lady

:There are certain dos and don’ts when it comes to interacting with pregnant women. We all know this! Don’t EVER ask. Don’t comment on her weight. Do say she is glowing. Simple stuff, right? If you didn’t know these basics, please, lock yourself in a closet and never come out. Being pregnant is HARD. You are fat, emotional, and literally sharing your body with someone else while being expected to carry on per usual as if this new person isn’t sucking the life out of you. The least you can do as a ‘not pregnant person’ is be polite and thoughtful when interacting with a pregnant person. It’s tough, ok? Let’s not make it tougher with inconsiderate words and actions.

• Said pregnant lady texts/ calls you to announce the good news- she is pregnant! Do NOT take it upon yourself to share this news with anyone else. Think of it this way: how you were told is how she wants others to be told. When she wants all of social media to know, she will post it. When she wants other family and friends to know, she will tell them. It isn’t your news to share so don’t share it.

• “Was the baby planned?” That is certainly none of your business. Sure, we are all thinking it. We all think a lot of things. “Does she know her new haircut looks ridiculous?” or “Is that really what he wants to do with his life?” Mind ya business, people. Most personal questions are always better left unasked. A baby is now inside of her and is entering the world in a few short months. How it got there is irrelevant at this point.

• Let’s focus on your reaction in general when hearing the big news. Your response should be nothing shy of positive and should always keep the focus on the expecting mother. Don’t express that you knew she was pregnant before announcing or ask about morning sickness. Keep it congratulatory. This is the most amazing news one can share. Just be happy for her.

• No horror pregnancy or birthing stories, please. Trust me, she is petrified of D-day as it is and has thoroughly gone over all of the possibilities in her head several times. I once had a guy tell me his leg popped out of his Mom in the waiting room of Labor and Delivery. I had that nightmare for weeks.

• Oh really?? You put your baby on his stomach to sleep, sprinkled baby powder in his diaper, and used whiskey on his teething gums? I’ll be sure to try all of those things… not! If she views you as a reliable source for parenting tips, she will come to you. Unsolicited advice is the worst. Don’t ever give it in any situation.

• Both positive and negative comments about appearance are unwelcome. This includes how she is carrying. High or low, let’s keep the conversation off of her gigantic stomach. Any negative comments you feel the need to make will be replayed over and over again in this woman’s head. She doesn’t need it. Yes, she is as tired as she looks. She made a leg yesterday and is working on an eyeball today. This stuff is hard work so of course, she looks tired. “You don’t even look pregnant from behind”. Yeah right. Liar. Just shut up.

• Don’t offer to babysit before the baby is even here. It’s weird. The people who will be so privileged as to watch her little angel already know it- it’s unspoken. If you are a 3rd cousin, co-worker, friend of a friend, you will not be asked to watch the baby. Who are you anyway?

Here are a few things you can say instead of what you are actually thinking:

Thought: “How much weight has she gained so far?”
Words: “Are you hungry? Here, have my sandwich.”

Thought: “I hope she doesn’t name him Brantley.”
Words: “Are you hungry? Here, have my sandwich.”

Thought: “Is she finished with the nursery?”
Words: “Are you hungry? Here, have my sandwich.”

Thought: “Natural childbirth?? She’s crazy!”
Words: “Are you hungry? Here, have my sandwich.”

You get the gist.

I know, I know. So many rules! What can you say to a pregnant woman? Why don’t you just think about whatever you say before you actually say it? Remember, you don’t only have to talk about the baby and pregnancy with her. She is still a person, she likes to talk about the same things that she liked to talk about before pregnancy.

What’s the worst comment you got while pregnant? Comment below!

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